


Dad by Daylight

by BreadHood



Series: Clark and his grumpy Bat [7]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack?, Dead by Daylight - Freeform, M/M, i don't know what this is, misuse of acronyms, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 06:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16907961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreadHood/pseuds/BreadHood
Summary: Clark just wants to playBruce wants to satisfy Barryand Lois and Dick cannot stop fighting





	Dad by Daylight

**Author's Note:**

> this is another attempt at being funny...and it was actually quite funny in my head but then....this happened and well...have fun anyway! XD
> 
> P.S. Batman and Superman do not know each other yet
> 
> AND FORMATTING IS SO HARD!! I will look at it later to make it more readable...  
> also, not beta'd!!  
> and based on a real story! xD

“So, how exactly does this work?” 

“Well, I’m a cliché high school girl on a trip with friends, we are stranded in the middle of nowhere and a serial killer is after us.” Clark grinned at the TV screen before looking at Lois on the couch beside him, who only raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s based on horror movies like _Nightmare on Elm street_ or _Friday the 13th_ , you know.” Clark shrugged and tried once again to make the game sound more interesting to her, but to no avail. Lois only shook her head. “I don’t even understand as to why you would choose to be in such a ridiculous situation on your own free will.” 

_Tough audience, it seems._

Lois and he had initially planned to meet up in front of his flat to talk and write about Superman’s first meeting with the Batman while eating somewhere. However, Lois arrived a little too early while Clark was still in the middle of a “Dead by Daylight” session, so his character was promptly found and killed. She begrudgingly gave in after Clark asked her numerous times to let him play one more time before they leave.  
“Just watch and you’ll see it’s fun.” 

Gradually, Lois indeed learned the rules and purpose of the game.  
Strangely enough, learned to like it even.  
And so, one session turned into many while hours ticked by without their notice.

~*~

“Look at this B.” Dick yelled while balancing one chocolate chip cookie on the tip of his nose. Alfred had been in a good mood and made them, after persuading a stubborn yet very exhausted Bruce Wayne to rest for just one night. And while Bruce should at least look at some important files about Wayne Enterprises, it was actually about time for another more... _personal_ matter tonight.  
Satisfying Barry Allen.  
By trying out the stupid game, he talked about all of last week.  
Apparently, it was about horror movie villains and teenagers and whatnot.  
_Great._  
He groaned and started the game.  
By playing a session with Barry and showing that he can actually be a decent friend, who genuinely cares about such ~~insignificant~~ stuff, Bruce hoped the speedster would finally shut up about it.  
Also, spending time with Dick and meanwhile making fun of Barry together, sounded just as nice.  
So he thought.  
Bruce forgot about the fact that Dick became easily restless. And after sitting on the couch for approximately ten minutes, Dick shot up, climbed on the arm chair and dangled upside down.  
“Cookie please!”  
Without looking, Bruce threw a cookie towards Dick, who caught it and eagerly nibbled on it while keeping an eye on the TV screen.  
After that, he climbed, jumped, stretched all around the room and basically covered every furniture once he had eaten another cookie.  
Since there was no patrol tonight to blow off some steam for either of them, Bruce bit down on his lower lip every time he felt the urge to stop Dick.  
_Just for tonight._  
_Just tonight._  
However, he could not help the small smile, whenever Dick tried a new trick with the cookie or laughed about _The Batman_ being absolutely horrible at games.  
So, by the time Bruce had finished one session with Barry (having died not even a minute into this game) Dick was sitting once again right next to him on the couch.  
“One more time, B.? You died way too soon, anyway.” Dick nudged his shoulder and looked up.  
Bruce sighed. Next time Alfred tried to talk him out of patrolling again, he would...  
Honestly, he did not know what he would do.  
Alfred would win anyway.  
“Fine.”

Apparently, _The Batman_ really sucked at games.  
He never survived, nor stayed alive for longer than five minutes. Much to the amusement of a certain 13-year-old right next to him, who kept holding his stomach after laughing and giggling too much.  
“You having fun?” Bruce asked annoyed.  
“Definitely.”

~*~

“’DefaultName’ died already?! It hasn’t even been two minutes!”  
Clark startled out of his trance and carefully took a brief look at a furious Lois before shifting his gaze back onto the game.  
“Well, maybe there was a problem with the internet or something.”  
“As if! He or she has probably done it on purpose! You won’t have that hatchway-thingy anymore, which only appears when one survivor is left. That person sabotaged the game!”  
Clark furrowed his eyebrows in desperation. Jerks made frequent occurrences on the internet, especially in online games but apparently, Lois was not aware.  
“It’s alright, really. I think you’re way too much into this game.” He chuckled quietly. “You can’t just write to every person on the internet, who is being a dumbass.”

He immediately knew that was the wrong thing to say and despite being in the middle of a game, he face palmed himself.  
_Oh Rao._  
Do not ever say to a journalist that he or she cannot write something to someone.  
“Yes!” Lois laughed. “Let me write a nice message to this ass!”  
“Lois, no.”  
“Lois, **yes**.” She glared at him and wiggled the fingers of her left hand, daring Clark to not give in and hand Lois the controller.  
Reluctantly, he put it into her hand and hoped this night would be over soon.  
Lois grinned.  
“So Smallville, how the heck do I write something on here?” 

~*~

“Bruce? Seems like you got your very first message!” Dick screamed as soon as the notification showed up.  
“A message? From whom?” Bruce frowned and went tense all over.  
Did Scarecrow know what he was doing? Was one of Black Mask’s people watching them?  
“It’s from...’FarmBoyYehaw’? Do you know someone like that?”  
Bruce’s frown only deepened. “No.”  
Dick read aloud:  
_“Dear Mr. or Ms. Jerk,_  
_How dare you die so soon after a game has only just started. Unless you suddenly had to give birth or got a heart attack, this behaviour was morally and socially unacceptable._ _I wish for you to think about this and never ever join a game again while playing only half-heartily like that.  
_ _From someone that just lost the game because of you, you idiot!”_

Bruce was seriously stunned. Was that normal behaviour concerning games? Did Barry also get messages like these?  
At least he can probably cross out theories of Scarecrow or Black Mask writing this message.  
“What a douche bag!”  
“Dick. Language.”  
“But it’s true!” Dick turned away from the TV screen to look at Bruce with angry eyes. “Just because you are absolutely horrible at games, does not mean they get to insult you!”  
Despite being once again called a loser at games, Bruce smiled a little about the boy’s obvious irritation about this turn of events. “Dick, do not think about this too much. It is not worth it.”  
Dick crossed his arms, annoyed. “Please let me answer.” Recognizing the look of rejection in Bruce’s eyes, he hurried to continue. “Just this once. I’ll be nice...promise.”  
“You would return and reply after pretending to go to sleep, anyway, right?” Bruce only raised an eyebrow.  
Dick’s mischievous grin was enough of an answer. 

~*~

“Oh no.”  
“Wha- Oh! The Default-Jerk has answered!” Lois' smile grew while pulling the controller once again out of Clark’s hands.  
She cleared her throat.  
_“Apparently dear Mr. or Ms. Jerk 2.0,_  
_OMGICNBYSST!!! Do you even realise what a jerk you have been yourself? Srsly! Maybe you should take a mom and think about ur overreaction!_ _Do u have personal problems you keep to urself and need to insult other people in order to let it all out?_  
_GAL_  
_LMTFA  
_ _From someone you should not agitate!”_

“Lois, maybe you should st-“  
“This screams for a reply!” Lois yelled after throwing a glare towards a helpless Clark. She would not stand this.  
All right, to be honest, she did not understand half of the message. Seriously, who writes like that? GAL? LMTFA? These were probably modern insults.  
“Clark, google OMGICNBYSST.”

Clark groaned and pulled at his own hair. He was at a loss of what to do. Lois and the default-guy have been writing each other for hours (at least it felt like hours), while he had to look up every word or acronym she did not understand. Which has been quite a lot.  
“Lois, maybe you should leave it be?” He mumbled and carefully put a hand on her shoulder.  
Lois immediately looked aghast and frowned at Clark. “But that person just called me a GBWNS! How can I let that slide?”  
Clark contemplated whether it was worth it to make Lois angry with him too; but after hearing another “That ass! Smallville, please look up WDYWFMAH!” he decided enough was enough. He leaned over and grabbed the controller out of her hands, leaving her feeling shocked and betrayed. She tried to snatch it back and desperate in his attempt to put an end to this, he pushed the controller down his pants.  
“Do you really believe this will stop me?” Lois tilted her head and raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow.

~*~

“Yes! Serves them right! B., they haven’t replied for over half an hour!” Dick grinned at Bruce and walked over to sit carefully on the couch again, after having lied on the carpet for some time. “That means I won!”  
Bruce, surrounded by piles of files and papers, smiled and nodded. After having watched Dick write messages for over 20 minutes, he decided it was still early enough to look into some firm-related matters and swiftly brought half his office onto the couch. “You are stubborn, you know that, right?”  
Dick only grinned wider but stopped for a big yawn making its way outside. It was definitely time to go to bed now, so Bruce ruffled his hair and told him to go upstairs.  
“All right. Night B.!”  
A few minutes went by in silence before Bruce shifted his gaze on the console.

~*~

Clark was about to turn everything off, as another notification showed up. He and Lois had still argued for quite some time after, involving inappropriate touches from Lois and helpless pleas from Clark until she yelled “Fine! But you owe me lunch.” Both decided to call it a night then and there, exhausted and beyond annoyed.  
Now, he was left alone again and honestly too curious about what kind of foreign words have been used in that message this time.  
“Oh well. “ Clark clicked on the message and read through it.  
_“Dear Mr. or Ms. Unknown,_  
_I am sorry for what happened today. It was not my intention to die so soon in a new game but I am just that awful, to be honest._ _And after reading your initial message, my ward was eager to defend me, and while I should have stopped him it was quite amusing._  
_Anyway, please accept my apology and you will never hear from my ward or me again._  
_Best wishes,_  
_Mr. Jerk.”_  
Clark could not help but laugh at this ridiculous message. Seems like Mr. Jerk was not such a jerk after all and just sucked at games.  
Hm.

~*~

He should go to bed and stop staring at all those papers. And he should definitely turn this goddamn console off!  
Bruce would not get a reply anymore.  
It was way too late anyway.  
Just as he was about to stand up and get ready to go upstairs, a notification popped up. Bruce sighed and cursed himself before eventually starting to read.

 _“Dear Mr. Jerk (You confirmed this name so it’s your fault),_  
_I accept your apology. However, to be honest I also owe you an apology. I was playing with a friend tonight, who thought your death was done on purpose, in order to sabotage the game and promptly decided to complain to you._ _I should have stopped her as well, but she can be quite intimidating and I was scared for my life._  
_Therefore, please accept my apology as well._  
_Sincerely,_  
_Mr. Coward.  
_ _P.S. Your ward seems very creative.”_

Bruce tilted his head and frowned. This night had been weird already, but it seems to get even weirder. Both of them appear to be the ‘victims’ of people wanting to protect them, which only ended up being a big chaos. He smiled.  
At least “Mr. Coward” seemed nice. 

~*~

_“Dear Mr. Coward (your fault),_  
_I accept your apology as well. We both seem to have important people in our life, who readily defend us no matter what. That is a win, I guess._  
_Yes, my ward sometimes gets ahead of himself and likes to troll people. Bad combination. However, your friend appeared to be more than capable of protecting herself.  
_ _That was quite a fun night, Mr. Coward.”_

Clark leaned back on the couch and ran fingers through his hair. Indeed, it has been a fun night. Even though most of the time he had to fear for his life or had to google weird things, he apparently was not the only one, who had suffered. He grinned.  
Mr. Jerk seemed nice.  
“All right, Clark. Be brave, just this once.” He closed his eyes and sighed.

~*~

Early rays of sunshine were making their way into the living room, reminding Bruce that the night had almost passed while he was still sitting on the couch in between piles of work. He groaned.  
Barry will hear about this!  
Stupid game.  
His ears perked up as the sound of another notification informed him that Mr. Coward had replied.  
Hm. Maybe not _such_ a stupid game. 

 

_“Dear Mr. Jerk,_  
_This night doesn’t have to end yet.  
_ _Wanna play Overcooked 2?”_

 

Needless to say, neither of them went to sleep for another several hours.

**Author's Note:**

> OMGICNBYSST: Oh my god I can not believe you seriously said that  
> GAL: Get a life  
> LMTFA: Leave me the f(udge) alone  
> GBWNS: Giant baby with no style
> 
>  
> 
> Btw, I hope no one talks like this in real life ._.


End file.
